Challenges

Some days are just more challenging.

Our 7 year old daughter, A, has had a fever for 8 days. Well, 7 - yesterday it was normal. We went to the doctor on Tuesday and the nurse practitioner told me if she was not better by today we should return.

Generally speaking, we don't tell A things until they are about to happen. She is all about routine and history has shown us if something changes or gets cancelled, there will be a major meltdown. One time, we were going to a relative's home for dinner. They called and asked if they could come to our home instead, as plans had changed. At that point we told A they were coming (we had not told her we were planning on going there originally) and she was thrilled. About 1/2 hour later they called to say plans had changed again, and they wanted us to come there. We told A, and an hour later she finally calmed down.

At any rate, today when I told her we were going to the doctor's office, she immediately asked me if she was going to get a shot. I informed her I didn't know and we would find out when we got there, but probably not. (I don't think she heard the last part.) She flipped out. Literally, her words to daddy were, "I'm freaking out."

The most difficult part is trying to help her. She does not understand why she goes ballistic, nor can she control it. As a parent, I want her to have a happy childhood - I want her to have as little stress and discomfort as possible. And yet, it is not possible for me to change the world to fit her needs. So we try to do what we can to teach her calming strategies, remind her when she forgets, and rejoice with her when she has successes.

And sometimes it is the littlest thing that is a success. And as long as we can remember to FIND and LOOK FOR the successes, we are on the road to helping her. Maybe not to have a stress-free childhood, or even life, but the celebrating certainly is fun.