Challenges

Some days are just more challenging.

Our 7 year old daughter, A, has had a fever for 8 days. Well, 7 - yesterday it was normal. We went to the doctor on Tuesday and the nurse practitioner told me if she was not better by today we should return.

Generally speaking, we don't tell A things until they are about to happen. She is all about routine and history has shown us if something changes or gets cancelled, there will be a major meltdown. One time, we were going to a relative's home for dinner. They called and asked if they could come to our home instead, as plans had changed. At that point we told A they were coming (we had not told her we were planning on going there originally) and she was thrilled. About 1/2 hour later they called to say plans had changed again, and they wanted us to come there. We told A, and an hour later she finally calmed down.

At any rate, today when I told her we were going to the doctor's office, she immediately asked me if she was going to get a shot. I informed her I didn't know and we would find out when we got there, but probably not. (I don't think she heard the last part.) She flipped out. Literally, her words to daddy were, "I'm freaking out."

The most difficult part is trying to help her. She does not understand why she goes ballistic, nor can she control it. As a parent, I want her to have a happy childhood - I want her to have as little stress and discomfort as possible. And yet, it is not possible for me to change the world to fit her needs. So we try to do what we can to teach her calming strategies, remind her when she forgets, and rejoice with her when she has successes.

And sometimes it is the littlest thing that is a success. And as long as we can remember to FIND and LOOK FOR the successes, we are on the road to helping her. Maybe not to have a stress-free childhood, or even life, but the celebrating certainly is fun.

Not Perfect

Ok, I admit it. I sometimes use bribery in order to get our 7 year old daughter to do what I want or need her to do.

Getting school work finished is not always fun, but if there is a reward it gets accomplished in a flash. Picking up toys is not a joy, but knowing there is a treat after makes the job happen more easily.

I know I should teach her more about delayed gratification, that the world does not revolve around her, and that sometimes we need to do things just because they must be done.

All that being said, however, sometimes I like a treat or reward for something I don't exactly want to do. Like cleaning the kitchen, folding laundry, dusting. Maybe if I start giving myself a reward every time I get the things I need done, I will do more. And maybe not...

We're all special

We all have quirks and things that make us, well, us. For example, all our clothing hanging in the closet has to hang the same direction. And no one in our family has a name with the same first initial - makes keeping the calendar so much easier.

Having children with disabilities, special needs, or who just aren't *typical* is all we know. None of us are better than anyone else, however we are all special in our own way because that is how God made us.

Understanding this, we know how blessed we are because we have each other.

Something about knowing we have unconditional love - because of who we are, not what we do or cannot do - makes almost everything easier. Not just love from God, but love for and from each other. We may not always like each other or the choices that are made, but the love is unconditional.

If we can get our children to know that love, we will have accomplished a significant goal.